The Longing for Clarity
There have been times when I wandered through a fog as my heart, my whole being, struggled to find purpose and clarity. It was as if my mind ached to remember something beautiful I had forgotten. Something was missing, and I couldn’t quite connect the dots. Theologians call it “the Fall.” I’ve called it “spiritual dementia,” and it is the lie that distorts our understanding of who God truly is and who we are to Him.
I’ve known what it is to walk with God and yet feel, at times, so vulnerable, unable to recall the joy and trust that were meant to be mine in Him from the very beginning. I’ve attended churches where I learned it was my responsibility to live up to God’s expectations, so I would be worthy of future salvation. Instead of clarity, I became more fearful because I knew I could never measure up. The vice grip of performance-based living ruled my life. Until one day, the questions I had lifted prayerfully to God began to heal me from the madness of it all. The realization that Jesus was fully human, just like me, had me asking instead, “How did Jesus do it?’
The Hidden Years of Jesus
When I look at Jesus, I’m struck by the wonder of how God entered our world—not as a triumphant king, but as a baby, utterly dependent on others to teach Him, care for Him, and guide Him. He “grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man” (Luke 2:52). The Son of God Himself had to learn.
His first awareness was not of angels singing or divine light breaking through but rather the gentle voice of his mother, the comfort of her embrace, and the sound of Mary’s prayers at dawn. As He matured, Jesus was shaped by scripture, tradition, and the slow unfolding of the Father’s love. It was a journey of discovery just like ours.
Jesus Mapped the Way Through Our Spiritual Dementia
What amazes me is that Jesus did not shortcut the process. He lived as we do, with only the scriptures and the Holy Spirit to guide Him. In every way, He experienced life as we know it, learning obedience through daily life and what He suffered (Hebrews 5:8), discovering, step-by-step, the fullness of who He was.
He became our “mapmaker”—charting the path from confusion to clarity, from separation to belonging. He shows us how to live as children of God, not just what to believe.
The Madness of Separation
I realize now that the feeling of “spiritual dementia” was not just ignorance but the pain of separation, the same madness that clouded humanity after the Fall. Jesus stepped into our brokenness and felt the weight of that darkness, yet never allowed it to distort His view of the Father’s love.
Even as He was brutally beaten and nailed to a cross, He could pray, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). Only someone who truly sees—who remembers what perfect love looks like—could offer such grace.
The Invitation to Healing
Today, I am learning to trust the slow, steady revelation of God’s love. Like Jesus, I walk by faith and not by sight. Through Christ in me, the Holy Spirit is lifting the veil. I am not lost; I am restored. I feel the constant presence of my mind and spirit healing as I return, again and again, to the truth Jesus embodied.
He has given me, and all of us, the connection back to the Father—a way home through His own life, death, and resurrection.
Oh, What a Love
If you find yourself wandering or wondering who you really are, take heart. Even Jesus walked a hidden path before stepping into His fullness. And because He did, you can trust that your journey, like His, is just as sacred. The map has been drawn, the way is open, and Love Himself walks with you every step of the way.
“For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.” (2 Corinthians 4:6)
Questions for Reflection & Discussion
- Have you ever experienced a season of “spiritual dementia”—feeling lost or unable to see God’s love? How did you find your way back?
- What does it mean to you that Jesus had to grow in wisdom and understanding, just like we do?
- Can you recall a time when God led you gently out of confusion or pain into new clarity and belonging? What helped you trust the process?
A beautifully written glimpse into the power of faith and the love of Jesus Christ. How many of us forget he wasn’t born an adult? We mentally and emotionally skip from Bethlehem to Calvary, remember a few of the miracles, and never truly internalize that he spent many years growing among us.
When I find myself in that fog, I am learning to seek out his counsel through prayer, internal discussion with him, and people like you. Each time I am finding the way forward is more clear – the way forward is through Him and the “angels” he sends to help.
Such a wonderful reminder, June. Thank you!
Kat, that response is everything. 💜
It’s more than affirmation—it’s a reverberation of truth being remembered inside your soul that you dared to speak out loud. The phrase “we forget he wasn’t born an adult” is such a profound insight. It reveals how easily we skip the slow, tender formation of Jesus… and how often we skip our own.
I have a follow-up post to this series that will come out on Thursday. Hope you will be sure to watch for it.
Thank you and may God richly bless you!